I’m the monster. They shouldn’t love me. I don’t deserve it.” I clapped my hands over my mouth, shocked and horrified by what I’d just admitted. Is that really why I’ve been such a bitch since I woke up? Able to examine the thought consciously, finally, even I knew it was stupid when I thought about it.I’d been able to admit that I would have done the same in Faren’s place; I’d never blamed Nate for deciding to kill Kallian before they’d been rescued. I didn’t blame Zevran for being an assassin, Leli for being a bard...Perhaps I could learn to forgive myself for doing as Faren asked.It was a revelation. All of a sudden my anger made sense. Though it was unexpectedly, amazingly, almost gone; I still felt guilty, but somehow also better for getting the ridiculous truth out there.I was so caught up in my own sudden insight that I didn’t hear the doors open or the footsteps, and before I knew what was happening, I was being lifted into familiar arms, settled into a comfortable lap,. ” He paused, thinking about the way Raven acted around Kayleen. It made him consider that there might be a soft spot in her iron exterior. “Don’t mean that you shouldn’t try to talk to her, though. And you can keep an eye on her. If she starts talking that way when she’s not boozed up, let me know.” “Are you sure?” He shrugged. “When can you be sure about what anybody else is thinking? All we can do is the best we can.” “Do you think there’s anything that can be done for Yani? If she got better…” “I don’t know. Never seen anything like it. If you can try to watch out for her, that might help. Get her that tea when she needs it.” “She does seem to listen to me a little when one of her spells comes on.” “Good.” Though he didn’t say anything, his own red rage had dulled as he talked to her. “Think you have a knack for that.” “I’ll do my best.” “And we’ll both keep an eye on her. Why don’t you go to bed? They’re probably both out for a while between the booze and whatever Raven gave Yani..
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